Category Archives: Family

Motherhood Times Two

Posted on by

14

Here I am folks three months in to having two children. An almost 3 year old and a 3 month old. People told me that having two kids would be a nightmare similar to the zombie apocalypse. I was scared, hell I was terrified. Turns out having two kids rocks! It is way better than having one.

 

Here are some of the wonderful moments I have had since having two kids:

  1. Every morning my oldest comes in and looks at the baby. She gets the biggest smile and exclaims, “She got bigger  mommy!”
  2. My oldest is dramatic. As in a bug looked at me, so I need ice, a band-aid, juice and I will cry for five minutes, dramatic. My youngest thinks this is hilarious, so every time my oldest freaks out, she laughs at her.
  3. At the Dr. office I was getting my oldest’s cough checked out. I had the youngest (4 wks at the time) in my boba carrier. (yep I am totally a baby wearer). My oldest decided now was a good time to freak out, so the baby of course decided to poop. So I made the rookie mistake of changing the baby in my lap. AND she peed all over me. Then we had to go downstairs for chest x rays. So I was covered in pee, with two screaming children in a waiting room. Yes, I made wife leave work to come rescue me.
  4. My youngest loves to cuddle!! Baby cuddles may just be the best cuddles available.
  5. Just knowing that in a few short months, I won’t just have one dancing daughter I will have two J Because what I need in life is more tutu wearing performances.
  6. My oldest is potty trained, but not perfect. She has the uncanny ability to wait until I am nursing the baby to have the worst poop accidents.
  7. Each morning when I drop the baby off in her room at school, my oldest picks out the swing/rocker she will go in. She walks all around looks at each of them carefully and picks. It is pretty adorable.
  8. But, the best part of having two kids so far is the day care bill. Just kidding, that shit sucks monkey balls. My mortgage is smaller than my day care bill.

 

On a side note my oldest has promised to be my best friend forever. So, I will totally be avoiding those teenage years where she hates me. Planning ahead.

The day the lights went out

Posted on by

11

Last thursday night there was a terrible no good very bad storm and it shook the whole house. This storm was so fierce that it knocked the power out a school and thus we got the day off of school.

Days off are great, unexpected days off are EPIC.

This is a recount of my EPIC day off.

I was running late and so the wife took the girls to school. She called me all pumped, “guess what I heard on the radio you don’t have to go to school today!” I was super pumped. What would I do first? Should I go back to bed? Go streaking through the quad?The options were endless so naturally, I took a long hot bath, which I have not been able to do since before the baby was born. It was a beautiful thing. Then I went to day care and got the baby. Because you don’t get much alone time with the second baby and I was getting my baby time in. Next, the babes and I met the wife for lunch and ate some bangin barbeque. Then I spent the afternoon playing with the baby.

This may not sound like much to you, but to me it was perfect.

That evening my oldest sat the baby down next to her and explained the finer art of yo gabba gabba.

The perfect beginning of my perfect mother’s day weekend.

"You're favorite is toodee, my favorite is Foofa"

“You’re favorite is toodee, my favorite is Foofa”

My sister goes vegan part 2

Posted on by

7

I went Vegan!

 

 

The end of Lent is approaching, and I have so many great vegan experiences to share!

Here’s a basic idea of what I ate most days.

Breakfast: plain oatmeal with honey and natural peanut butter added.

 Lunch: Brown rice, lots of veggies, piece of fruit.

 Dinner:  Different almost every night.  I had so much fun trying vegan recipes.

 

Here are some go to recipes that I never would have discovered if I hadn’t been trying to eat Vegan.  I used these recipes almost every week, and they were so delicious that I’ll definitely keep making them!

 

 

1.http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/09/28/recipe-easy-split-pea-soup/

This recipe is so easy, and makes great leftovers!  Even my non-veggie loving husband LOVED this.  I just substituted the chicken stock for vegetable stock. Mmmmmmmm!  It has such a great rich flavor, and adding sriracha sauce made it nice and spicy! :)

 

2. Vegan Burritos.  In the past I always pile TONS of cheese on my mexican food… but what really surprised me is how much I like my burritios with absolutely no dairy or meat!  At first I thought, there would be nothing left but condiments… but now I think burritos just taste so crisp and fresh this way, I think I prefer it!

 

You could make this with most anything you like, but we used: whole wheat tortillas or pita, black beans, brown rice, avacado/guacamole, tomatoes, salsa, and cilantro.

 

3. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/vegan-broccoli-soup/

I actually only made this soup once, but it was really good!  I was surprised to see how well the cashews worked as an ingredient!

 

4.Salad.

I used to hate salad, but now I love it!  Seriously.  I had so much fun experimenting with different salads.  I found out that a good dressing makes all the difference to me, and I really only like home made dressings. A favorite go-to dressing was this one:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emeril-lagasse/simple-balsamic-vinaigrette-recipe/index.html

I used honey instead of sugar.

 

5.  Tofu stir fry:  I used organic tofu (and we only did this once in a while, b/c of the risks of eating soy.  I would fry the tofu in olive oil and then just mix it with a bag of frozen veggies.  Much better than it sounds. ;)

 

 

Of course, some recipes were a definite flop.  I found that recipes that are usually based on a meat were a big disappointment… vegan mushroom stroganoff for example… not so great without the beef!  The recipe used cornstarch (ew!) to give it thickness, and it was barely edible.

 

 

As to my original posed questions…..

 

Here are some of my pre-Vegan thoughts that I hope to explore:

 

1. Will learning to say “no,” to my food impulses give me strength in other areas of my life?

I think so!  Its hard to evaluate your own self-control, but it definitely gave me more confidence in my own “power.”  I usually don’t tell myself “no,” when it comes to food.  Doing so over and over again, made me feel like I have more control over my choices in life.  Definitely a confidence booster.  It reminded me of a CS Lewis quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ”

2. Will not having the option of emotional junk food eating help me to grow as a person?  Will I turn to prayer or meditation, or will I replace my cravings with some other temporary pacifier?

I have to be honest here, and tell you that it did not.  I totally caved to my weaknesses, and just found vegan junk food to indulge in.  Surprisingly enough oreos are vegan… its a terrible terrible thing!!!!  I really admire people who have actually been able to give up all the bad stuff entirely… I’ll take any advice you have to offer. ;)

 

3. Will I feel any different physically from eating Vegan?  Will I have more energy?

Its really hard to say.  I’d like to think so… but could be a placebo effect sort of thing.  I did always feel extra great when I juiced though.  I got super into making green juice (with things like cucumber, celery, kale, and apple)… and every time I drink it I feel a little bit like super woman.  Not to mention I can’t get over how pretty it looks in a glass! (Green IS my favorite color.)

 

4. What will I do when eating over at someone’s house (I’m shy and don’t see myself liking to explain all this to people)?

I guess I don’t have much of a social life, b/c this really wasn’t a big problem lol.  It was slightly awkward at my Baptist in-laws, who wanted an explanation of why you would do lent, and didn’t quite understand… but we only had the conversation once.

 

5.  Will I find good Vegan options at restaurants?

YES!  Oh my gosh, the asian vegan food was amazing!  I tried things I never would have tried before, and let me tell you, it was some of the best food I’ve ever had!  Thai, Vietnamese, and Indian restaurants have great Vegan options… I only wish I knew how to cook it myself!

 

6.Will this change the way I eat or view food permanently?

For sure.  I realized that I can go without meat pretty easily.  I used to see myself as a big meat eater (I even craved rare steaks), but now the idea of eating meat kind of grosses me out… makes me thing of gnawing on muscles.  (Sorry I know thats gross!)

 

7.Is there any (affordable) AND tasty way to drink coffee with cream as a vegan (this is crucial to my happiness ;) ).

No.  This is the one thing that was really really hard for me.  Coffee is NOT the same without milk!!!   I just hate stealing the milk from those baby cows… but its so good….. still not sure what to do about this.

 

8.  How am I ever going to give up Diet Coke????!!!!! Blurg!

Things are looking bleak in this area. Wah Wah Wah.

 

9..  And of course every girl’s constant question…. will I lose weight? lol.

No… I think it was those darn oreos.

 

In conclusion.. as Miley Cyrus would say… going vegan was “pretty cool.”  You should try it too!

 

Much love,

NeverContrary’s sister <3

Long Deep Breaths

Posted on by

10

I am one of those people that likes to soak life in.

I have these moments in life where time seems to stand still and I just look around soaking up every detail: Every smell, every color, every sound. Hoping that with time these memories don’t fade.

IMG_0500

 

The latest one happened while I was rocking my screaming newborn to sleep in her room for an hour. What you say, how could that have been a moment you want to remember? You see as I sit in the dark nursery and look at the pale yellow walls and the freshly painted white crib, I wince at the thought of how fast these moments will pass me by.

I love every last moment of babies.

And when they grow too old to wake in the night. I cry.

Because you see, that is less time I get to spend with them.

And I don’t want to miss a single second.

 

Thank goodness my two year old promised to be my best friend forever.

Have you met God today?

Posted on by

24

image from keturahweathers.theworldrace.org

image from keturahweathers.theworldrace.org

I find myself laying awake after yet another family gathering has left me reminded of the gaping hole in my life family and friends have left.

I have been out of the closet for 7 years. Yet, the lack of support is like a fresh wound that will never heal.

My friends and family fall into three categories.

1. The amazing friends and family who not only understand the civil rights battle I am against, and actively work to change it everyday.

2. The acquaintances who call themselves my friends, and say in word how it is awful the way gay people are treated, but not only do nothing about it. They support, the groups and people doing me harm.

3. The people who not only support the groups and people doing me harm, but then compare me being gay to adultry or alcoholism. And that I am being selfish by wanting to be able to do the same things they get to do with their life.

Sure it is easy to say that you can’t control what people think/believe/do, but does that make it hurt any less? How long do you look at their face before the pain becomes to much to bear?

Do you say something or just let it go? Knowing in the back of your mind they will always be out there, actively making sure you are not a legal citizen in your own country, that you have to live in fear everyday. And that they don’t care what you are going through because we all have struggles, so that makes all injustice in the world ok.

Some days I am able to focus on my inner peace and let it all wash away. Others I’m left sleepless tormented by the pain.

The worst thing I can let happen is the anger eat at me. I do not want to become bitter, and angry. How do you let go of the pain when it clings to you so deeply? It is as if the pain knows that it will die if you can find a way to get rid of it, so it hides in places inside you, hoping you won’t notice it.

Please don’t let my pain keep you from eating your chick fil a, or sending money to uganda to help them pass their kill the gay bill, or to church ministries that use shock therapy to cure gays. But, do know that one day you will meet God, and I am quite certain it will not be the meeting you expect it to be.

Until then, I am going to remain strong, live my life, and surround myself with truly compassionate people, who want this world to be a better place.

Making a gaybie the 3rd trimester

Posted on by

22

I have officially entered the pee every hour 24 hours a day point in my pregnancy. Exciting I know. I think I may start peeing on myself any day. Maybe I should buy some depends. Am I too young for depends? Nah. I am sure they come in sexy colors. Everything comes in sexy colors these days.

I meet with my doula pretty often at this point in the pregnancy.  I am very nervous about going natural, but I feel very good about the decision at the same time. Not sure if I will post my birth story here or not. I don’t really care for reading peoples birth stories unless it is someone I personally know, so I figure none of you want to read mine.

My hormones are raging at this point. My poor wife has to deal with the most of it, and then every time my dad talks to me I start crying, so he has started freaking out.

The best and worse part of the third trimester is the belly. The belly is finally big enough that you look pregnant to everyone, yet at the same time the belly is getting very uncomfortable. What I learned was with each pregnancy you get more and more uncomfortable throughout the whole process. Of course no one told me this before hand. Can’t break the motherhood rules.

The realness of the pregnancy truly sinks in as time runs at light speed toward your due date yet at the same time moves slower than humanly possibly. For me this causes severe nesting. I woke up one morning panic stricken that we needed to have everything ready right then for the baby. Of course it took us weeks to get everything ready, so I was a mess for weeks. Or maybe I was just getting super hormonal. Of course smack dab in the middle of the third trimester christmas fell and was beyond dramatic, but that story is for another day. What would one of my pregnancies be without a epic dramatic christmas?

Each time I looked down at my little belly I would wonder, is this the last time I’m going to be pregnant?

39 weeks and hitting up the mardi gras parades :)

39 weeks and hitting up the mardi gras parades :)

 

For your pleasure the funniest moment of this pregnancy:

Scene: Me 8 months pregnant and in line at walmart in front of two college girls.

Girls: (while looking at the tabloids) Wow look how beautiful Kesha is. Oh look at Kourtney Kardashian’s pregnant belly. I could never be pregnant. I mean look how big your bely gets. You just look down and there it is.

Me: You’re right it’s awful

Girls: (embarassed) OH we didn’t mean you, we meant the magazines

Me: (laughs at their embarassment and stupidity)

 

My beautiful bouncing girl made her debut on her due date after 12 hours of all natural labor :)

We are now a family of four Oh My!

p.s. I never peed on myself. Yay!

Making A Gaybie The Second Trimester

Posted on by

15

Sexy belly shadow

Sexy belly shadow

The second trimester is when you find out if you are having a boy or a girl. Many people are uncomfortable with lesbians having boys. You can tell this by when they say oh thank goodness you are having a girl since the baby won’t have a father. That would just ruin a boy not having a father. To which you throw glitter on them ( gays always keep emergency glitter) and walk away. Not really, usually I just grimace and make note to never speak to them again.

I was quite nervous waiting to find out if it was a boy or a girl. I have a sister and really wanted my daughter to experience life with a sister. But, at the same time would be remiss if I did not get the experience of having a son. But, luckily this was out of my hands.

And guess what folks, a beautiful bouncing girl. Now, do I believe the ultrasound. Of course not. Would I be my skeptical self, If I believed them that I was having a girl without a second ultrasound to back it up? So, I am going to paint the room yellow, just in case they were wrong and not open any  pink presents until the second ultrasound at the end of the pregnancy says girl too. A little overboard, maybe, but hey I’m pregnant. Isn’t that just the best excuse for all of your normal crazy. Oh sorry, I’m just pregnant and hormonal I can’t help it. Hahahaha I can help it, but why waste a good opportunity to say and do all the crazy things you think about regularly with no repercussions?

The second trimester is supposed to be the best time in the pregnancy. You should have more energy and stop feeling sick. I did stop puking and had more energy, but I still did not feel like a pregnant superhero or anything fabulous. Or maybe I was a pregnant superhero stopping crimes of injustice against pregnant women everywhere. You can’t prove I wasn’t. ;)

I don’t have any funny stories or silly songs for this middle part of my pregnancy. I spent all of my time writing a semesters worth of lesson plans, tests, answer keys and power points for my maternity sub. To later have my department give me nasty looks when I went on leave. Because obviously me having a baby was a huge inconvenience to them. Didn’t I know you were supposed to be rich like them and stay at home with your children and not burden the work force with your absence. Gee why didn’t I think of that. When I finished that I had to meet with my advisor to make edits on my thesis because why just have a baby when you can have a baby, and finish you last semester of grad school at the same time. Gotta make life challenging folks or what is there?

My advisor is hilarious. Here is a sample of some of our meetings

1- You want to see pictures of my cat this morning? Me- sure ( thinking is he serious?) He then proceeds to spend a half an hour showing me pictures of his cat on his phone and tells me the story of how she got her name.

2- We are at a dinner party, as I work with his wife so we see each other at a myriad of social functions. He sits down turns to his wife and goes we need to get cocoa puffs on the way home. I haven’t had them in like ten years. She gives him this look of thanks for being embarrassing.

3- When discussing the baby coming. You should bring your baby to school everyday. We are a family and you should be able to bring you kids to class with you. Me- I don’t think the others in the program will like that. Him- oh we will find a little room for you and the other moms. It will be so much fun!

 

p.s. Where are my mom jeans? I thought the government sent you mom jeans, a van, and made you get a hair cut as soon as you popped the second kid out? Maybe they will come next week?

 

Part one of this series:

making a gaybie the first trimester

 

 

My Sister Goes Vegan Part 1

Posted on by

25

My super amazing sister is going vegan for lent. I thought what a fabulous topic for my blog. I have asked her to write a few pieces about the experience. Now, try not to like it too much. She is a published author and a far better writer than I.

ENJOY!!

 

 

I’m going VEGAN!

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and for many people that means the start of a 40 day fasting period before Easter.  I see it as a time of restraint, meditation, and preparation for the coming of Easter.

This Lent season I’ve decided to give up all animal products.  This may not seem to have much to do with religion, BUT I do think that practicing self control can manifest itself in spiritual ways… besides, my body is a temple right?

Also, I’m also kind of killing two birds with one stone here, because I’ve been slightly obsessed lately with learning about “real,” (as in unprocessed) food, and have been reading some great books, like French Kids Eat Everything, In Defense of Food, and The China Study.  I also read the 100daysofrealfood blog, and Food Babe (in embarrassing quantities), but, hey no one can say I lack enthusiasm!  Long story short, I’ve been slowly weaning myself off of highly processed foods and trying to eat more fruits and veggies.

As my sister’s “wifey,” would say “I drank the Kool-Aid,” and I’m ready to plunge in head first and try becoming a Vegan .    My plan is to fill you guys in on the struggles, rewards, ups and downs of my adventure.  Who knows maybe by the end of Lent I’ll be a brand new woman.

Here are some of my pre-Vegan thoughts that I hope to explore:
1. Will learning to say “no,” to my food impulses give me strength in other areas of my life?
2. Will not having the option of emotional junk food eating help me to grow as a person?  Will I turn to prayer or meditation, or will I replace my cravings with some other temporary pacifier?
3. Will I feel any different physically from eating Vegan?  Will I have more energy?
4. What will I do when eating over at someone’s house (I’m shy and don’t see myself liking to explain all this to people)?
5.  Will I find good Vegan options at restaurants?
6.Will this change the way I eat or view food permanently?
7.Is there any (affordable) AND tasty way to drink coffee with cream as a vegan (this is crucial to my happiness ;) ).
8.  How am I ever going to give up Diet Coke????!!!!! Blurg!
9..  And of course every girl’s constant question…. will I lose weight? lol.

There should be a number ten shouldn’t there? Dang it!
Wish me luck!  Maybe all my reading will finally be put to good use!

Peace and Cheers!
NeverContrary’s sister….
AlwaysContemplating?  SometimesVegan?  TrulyTerrific!  BlogNamesAreHard!!

Making A Gaybie- The First Trimester

Posted on by

46

Well bloggers I have been keeping a fairly large secret from you. The past nine months I have been pregnant. Perhaps you had a few inklings when my blog started to smell like puke, or maybe it was the hormonal rants that tipped you off, but I have been indeed incubating a little girl.

Ok so this isn't the 1st trimester- it's 36 weeks, but who wants to see a flat tummy

Ok so this isn’t the 1st trimester- it’s 36 weeks, but who wants to see a flat tummy

I have prepared a few blog posts along the way for your enjoyment. It will be like you were right there the whole way through I promise.

When people find out you are pregnant, they want you to tell them how blessed you feel and how it is the most wonderful experience of your life. No one wants you to tell them what is really going on. It is almost as if we are a part of a secret motherhood society sworn to secrecy.

First rule of motherhood, no one talks about the bad parts.

Second rule of motherhood, shun all the moms that talk about the bad parts.

Third rule of motherhood, tell all the other mothers they are doing it wrong.

I think that those moms out there that say pregnancy is easy, are straight up lying. Thats right I said it. Liar Liar pants on fire. You may love all the weird things about pregnancy, but growing a human from scratch is not easy.

Let’s start at the beginning. For me pregnancy starts with puking. Everyday all day. For about ten weeks. When I say puke I don’t mean the pink nasty liquid one usually pukes up. I mean in the middle of dinner running to the kitchen sink because the bathroom is too far and puking the pasta right back up whole. Then, walking back to the table and finishing dinner. See, I told you no one wants to hear that. It’s too disgusting. But, lets not forget the exhaustion that comes in the first trimester as well. I would take two naps a day folks. Yes, I was in grad school for 8 hours a day, but hey, I teach calculus no need to be awake for a class about math I already teach right?

When people find out a lesbian is pregnant they have  many reactions. Here a few of my favorites this time around.

“You are pregnant again? I didn’t think that was possible.”

~gee, I guess since I am a lesbian I can only get pregnant once.

“Do they both have the same father.”

~Do you have the same dad as your siblings? How can you be sure, did you get a DNA test?

“Oh shit.”

~That was my step mom, nice huh.

p.s. For the next couple weeks I will only be posting and not reading blogs. Just a little busy and sleep deprived. I do hope to catch up with all of you when I am out of baby jail :)

Mother in law for sale

Posted on by

26

Yes, I am quite sure this blog, will come back to haunt me when I am famous and everyone all across the world are reading every word I have ever written as if it is sweet nectar from the gods.

But I have had it.

When I am being told that when I was your age I was just quiet and did what I was told, something snaps.

S091959

Guess what mommy dearest?

This is not 1950

I drink

I have tattoos and plan to get more

I don’t care what you think

I feel sorry for you

I drink coffee and tea (take that mormon jesus)

I married your daughter and I would do it again everyday

Your cruel words and actions only hurt you

The world does not revolve around you

Yes, I did unfriend you on facebook

I swear because its fun

No I will never let you babysit, so stop asking

I do not like cake

Your special mormon underwear freaks me out

It is not ok to spend 90% of your time talking trash about your children

I am not young enough to think you will one day change, because you will not. And for your sake that makes me very sorry. Your cruelty only keeps loved ones from you. What a lonely life that must be.

But you will not take me down with you. I am going to continue to pretend I do not hear you and go on with my wonderful life. Because guess what, my life is pretty fucking spectacular.