I have been on the ultimate quest for christmas magic folks. I have looked near and far, ok, I haven’t gotten up off the couch. But, my imagination has looked near and far, and that totally counts right? I’m thinking this whole time that Christmas has been hiding in the bottom of my bottle of crown sitting up in the cabinet. I just may have to find some help to get down there and see.
This is what I have learned so far on my quest:
1. My daughter is obsessed with Christmas trees and thinks snowmen are bad
T “Stop the car, mommy. Stop the car”
NC “No, we are going to get a christmas tree.”
T “yay! i love christmas trees”
T “Do you see that mommy?”
NC “Yes, its a snow man”
T “Yes its a snow man, you don’t know this but he is bad.”
NC “Why is he bad?”
T “He is a bad bad snowman.”
2. A good christmas dessert goes down smooth.
3. Christmas cookies are way more fun to bake with little kids, then they are by yourself. Plus you don’t have to worry about feeling guilty for not giving them to your neighbors because your kid will either lick them all or stick their fingers in them, claiming them for the family on your behalf. So thoughtful really.
4. Snowflakes on your window are not the same as snow in your yard. Especially when you still have the blow up pool hanging out in the back yard. Come on freak snow storm.
5. If you don’t put lights on your house, you are a total looser. Unless of course, your goal in life is to ruin everyone’s holiday. In which case you are mean. Like the lady in the gingerbread house that tricked hansel and gretal, but how will you trick us without a candy house, or lights? You really didn’t think this through did you?
6. It is really annoying when people get all worked up over the word Christmas. Come on people not everyone celebrates Christmas, so what? Maybe they celebrate Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or Festivus, or they made up their very own holiday that is so cool only they know about it. Which is why I say Merry Everything. This way I am letting you know that whatever you chose to do this holiday season, I hope you have a wonderful time. Of course all my decorations say Merry Christmas, stupid hobby lobby. Always gotta bring a hipster down.